Posts Tagged ‘Jalapeños’

Some people cannot eat a particular food because of dietary restrictions or allergies. Most others cannot eat a particular food pureply because of preference. Everybody has a list of foods that they either cannot eat or do not like to eat. As far as I know, I do not have any food allergies (thankfully), which is why I will try anything once. However, there are a handful of ingredients that I can do without. These are the Top 5 foods that I really do not want to eat when faced with options.

5. Jalapeños

I do not mind spicy foods, as long as they have other flavors to them. For example, I will eat foods with cayenne, serrano, or even ghost chili, all because those have other flavors other than spice. The problem with jalapeños is that spice is all it is. Jalapeños have no other distinct flavor to them – they are just spicy. Every time I order something that has jalapeños in it, I will either ask them for no jalapeños, or pick them out as I eat. For example, the House Special Scallops from Capital Seafood is one of my all-time favorite dishes. The problem is that there are sliced jalapeños mixed in with the scallops. In this case, I will eat everything, but move the jalapeños to the side. If they could use a different pepper, or spice it differently, I would consume it entirely.

4. Pickles

The pickle, most commonly found on hamburgers, one of my favorite foods, makes its way onto this list because of its strangely sour flavor and its slimy texture. There is nothing wrong with adding some tartness to your food, but I prefer a vinegar-based flavor rather than something pickled. Granted, the right pickled food in the right setting can be tasty. The pickled vegetables on the Wood-fired Banh Mi from Tiger! Tiger! balance the rest of the dish very well by adding a sour & slightly sweet kick to the savory pork belly and the spiciness of the chili aioli. But pickles are just needlessly sour, and even when sweetened to make relish, it always tastes like food that has gone bad or rotten. There is also that weird slimy yet crisp texture, like a potato chip that absorbed too much liquid, so it becomes a limp chip. I do not want to eat limp chips.

3. Olives

This may be attributed to my childhood when I witnessed a stranger biting into an olive and subsequently breaking his teeth. For the longest time, I did not understand how an olive can break teeth, so I avoided them. I eventually learned that olive pits are extremely tough, and a hard bite can inflict massive damage on your teeth or jaw. Steadfast, I once ordered a salad just to try the olives. The olives reminded me of pickles because of the sour taste and the chewy texture. I never understood why olives and martinis go together. I cannot imagine drinking a vodka cocktail with two balls of sour in the glass. Tapenade may be the exception to olives, but that is a spread made with other ingredients than just olives, including capers, which I love, and olive oil, which means more fat!

2. Tofu

I am not alone when I say this, but I refuse to eat tofu. Yes, I know that tofu is undeniably good for you with its low calories and high protein, but the taste is just so vile… And the way it jiggles makes it appear alive. One bite will leave you with an icky feeling, as it strangely melts into a thick, white substance in your mouth. Tofu is commonly referred to as the meat of vegetarians and vegans. I feel sorry for any non-meat eaters in the world if this is what you have to resort to to get your daily protein. On a side note, do vegans spit or swallow…?

1. Bean Sprouts

Ask anybody and they will tell you – bean sprouts have no nutritional value to them. Celery also has no nutritional value; however, celery has negative net calories, which bean sprouts have positive net calories. There is no point in ever including bean sprouts in anything, other than adding that bitter vegetable taste, or by adding visuals. I hope that bean sprouts are never used for visuals, because looking at bean sprouts makes me nauseous. It must be those funky-looking yellow curly things at the ends, because they remind me of little worm parasites. In fact, looking at multiple bean sprouts reminds me of parasitic worms as they try to search for their next prey/host. In any event, if something has bean sprouts in it, I am not even gonna order it – I will just have to choose something else.

Yes, I used to be a Biology major.